This is the essence of an AIM conversation between me and Emma. I hate conversations on blogs, however, so I'm posting it like this.
So the sermon today was on sexual immorality. The preacher was making all these comments about how humans are too weak to withstand any sexual temptation whatsoever. And the only way to do it is by following the Bible which says "Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18). So any situation where a male and female are alone is bad, because you're going to give in, and I was so ready to stand up and scream "What are you talking about?!" This is just so wrong ... I've spent more time alone with various females than i care to think about, and this is complete ... you know.
Then there was this whole five-minute session about the blindness of Christianity. Which isn't what HE called it, naturally; it's what I call it. The blindness of Christianity being, of course, the idea that anything non-Christian cannot be good. Because, hey, they're all evil sinners. And they have nothing to teach us. Horrible, evil people. Losers, every single one of them.
And then there was this line about myths: Myths don't apply to our lives, but the Bible does. That's why the Bible isn't a myth. I wanted to throw a dictionary at him. A myth is meant to apply to life! That's why they're written in the first place!!!
I'm not sure I can do this whole dogma thing. I keep coming up with all these sarcastic remarks. And I have far too many questions for my own "good" in this church. *sigh* I hate this. There are good people in that church. Smart people. And they won't ask any questions that might bring any attention to the fact that there are philosophies and questions about the Bible! I like the basis on which the church is formed. I just don't think it's being executed entirely properly. One of my friends put it best: "Humans jack things up. We touch it, it breaks."
So much for Acts 17:11.
If we're afraid to question our faith, we don't have faith to begin with. I had someone tell me, "If evolution is the reason someone loses faith in God, they had no faith to begin with." And he's an atheist.
I hate this feeling, though. That I can't stay, can't go ... I'm trapped between conscience and more conscience, wondering where God is in the midst of it, and wanting to know why people are satisfied with what they have when it sucks! I dunno. Sometimes I get the urge to just leave. It's scary, really.
It seems so pointless to spend time pointing fingers at other Christians. But evangelistic Christianity means you have to point fingers. And denominationalism means that you're going to point fingers at every little difference. What's worse is it's based in self-righteousness. One tiny problem: we aint righteous. We're not even decent, most of us, which is why we turn to God to save our sorry souls. We need Him, and the fact that we admit that does not make us qualified to sit in judgment. The worst part is when we absolutely believe in our judments and expect God to behave as we expect Him to. If we could understand the mind of God, we'd be God instead of Him.
But, oh wait, that's heretical thinking. No decent Christian would think that.
"You know you've made God in your own image when He hates all the same people you do."
--Anonymous
This part, unfortunately, doesn't work in anything BUT conversation format.
Emma: Do they say you can't listen to any music that isn't Christian?
Kaelis: No. They do, however, claim that any TRUE disciple will, by his own choice.
Emma: Aha. Well, my church takes it a step further and says we CAN'T.
Kaelis: *sigh* The only reason they don't? They can't find any Scripture that says not to, so they call it "a Romans 14 thing." They have a NAME for stuff they can't find Scripture condemning. Well, maybe it's my name, but the point stands. It's a way of guilting you into doing what they want you to do.
Emma: They're good at the guilt thing, aren't they?
Kaelis: Yes.
Emma: Besides, I figure I'm going to Hell for watching movies, so...
Kaelis: Sounds good. We'll do lunch.
Emma: *drops her head into her hands* It's such a mess, this thing.
Emma: Okay. Fried. Everything will be fried.
So, this is what's going through my head. I'm just so tired of the blinders people wear. I know others are, as well. Jeppie, for one. I just wish I could look at someone and know that they feel the same way. It would save me from having to talk carefully to people at church in case they toe the party line.
-David
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