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fifty years have ridden off into the sunset
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I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of
the right words to say
I know they don't sound the way
I planned them to be
But if you wait around a while
I'll make you fall for me
I promise, I promise you I will
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So I'm supposed to be studying for two midterms tomorrow: AMS 361 DifEq and ESE 372 Electronics. This would naturally be the time when I get the urge to redesign my web pages and learn more about scripting.
Well, I can honestly say that the redesigned pages look much, much better. The code is cleaner, and both the back and front ends are neatly trimmed. Having figured out how to work PHP variables and passing functions to my satisfaction, I'm very pleased. Between CSS and PHP I've cleaned up a whole lot of code, and I'm finally, finally done with all those stupid frames.
There's only one problem -- I haven't gotten any studying done, and my AMS midterm is in 15 hours. At least two and a half of that I'll spend at Life Talks, and I'll definitely want to get five and a half of sleep, if possible, so I really have seven hours to study for AMS, then after that another 7 to study for ESE. Except I'd really like to get ESE done tonight.
Which I won't.
How do you study for an open book test? Especially when you don't have the book because of some very annoying circumstances ...
... anyway, that's my day. ish.
-David
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| Uh ... |
| 1:00 AM, Monday, February 23, 2004 |
I was talking to someone I sort of tangentially know at church today, and he asked me what I've been studying out recently, noting that, "You have a great gift for teaching; I see you using it to God's glory greatly." I was a little bit stunned -- I mean, I haven't really talked to him much, yet he still saw this in me?
Wow ...
-David
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Midterm Tuesday. Average was 8.5/20.
Professor says, "When I saw the grades, I wasn't very happy."
You weren't very happy? You made the test! And you're not the one getting the 8.5 on it! What, do you think we're glad the average was a 43?
-David
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Yes, this was actually submitted.
I understand that you're not currently looking for new employees at this time. Please consider me for a position if one of the current employees resigns, gets fired, or dies ...
-David
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What if the armies of the Lord
Picked up and dusted off their swords
Vowed to set the captives free
And not let Satan have one more
What if the church, for Heaven's sake
Finally stepped up to the plate
Took a stand upon God's promise
And stormed Hell's rusty gates
What if His people prayed
And those who bear His name
Would humbly seek His face
And turn from their own way
And what would happen if we prayed
For those raised up to lead the way
Then maybe kids in school could pray
And unborn children see light of day
What if the life that we pursue
Came from a hunger for the truth
What if the family turned to Jesus
Stopped asking Oprah what to do
What if His people prayed
And those who bear His name
Would humbly seek His face
And turn from their own way
He said that they would hear
His promise has been made
He'd answer loud and clear
If only we would pray
If My people called by My name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
If My people called by My name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
What if His people prayed
If My people called by My name
And those who bear His name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
He said that they would hear
If My people called by My name
He'll answer loud and clear
If they'll humble themselves and pray
If only we would pray
If My people called by My name
What if His people prayed?
If My people called by My name ...
-David
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I hate going to the Christian bookstore, because I always have to ask my friends to drag me out before I spend about sixty bucks there, and they never do. I managed to avoid buying the eight-way parallel Bible (I *really* wanted it, though) but I did spend $13 on the self-titled Casting Crowns CD. Is quite good. Between Sleeping At Last and this I am quite satisfied with music that I've recently gotten.
-David
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| Pop Quiz |
| 1:16 PM, Thursday, February 12, 2004 |
During a discussion on evolution, someone uses the following argument:
"Mathematicians consider any probability of 1/10^50 to be a mathematical impossibility. Evolution [ed. note: this should say 'Spontaneous Darwinism' but I'm quoting] has a probability of 1/10^1,000,000. Basically, from any mathematical and scientific standpoint, it is completely impossible that a group of amino acids could come together and form life, then that life would slowly evolve into something with the complexity of a human being. Moreover, it would therefore take more faith for me to believe in evolution [ed. note: again, 'spontaneous Darwinism'] than it would to believe that there is a God who created this world."
What is your response?
Before posting, please understand this: I do not care whether you believe in creationism, theological Darwinism, spontaneous Darwinism, or something completely different. I do not want your opinion of how the world was made in the comments for this post. There may be a time when I ask you that later. For now, all I care about is what you think of the argument transcribed above.
-David
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| Well? |
| 12:38 AM, Wednesday, February 11, 2004 |
Who are you?
What do you want?
Where are you going?
Why are you here?
-David
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| Uh-oh ... |
| 1:31 AM, Tuesday, February 10, 2004 |
Went to Mexican Saturday with Hector and ended up getting into a convo -- in Spanish -- with a couple of the people working there. Was cool ... they thought I was "Colombiano, o Boliviano", which kind of amused. They found it funny when I responded with "Soy gringito" in this rather amused voice, so ... well, anyway, they definitely remembered me today. Went back with Mike and Adam. Adam ordered first and she tried to speak to him in Spanish; he couldn't understand so she just refused to speak in English, but took his order anyway.
I tried to order and she responded with, "No hablo ingles." "Tienes chistes." So I was required to order -- and carry on a conversation -- in Spanish. Fluent I ain't, but I seemed to get my point across. My best friend of three years being Mexican helped my accent a lot, and my vocab ... so I still remember most of it.
Now I'm being called "the ruiner of worlds" because they speak to us in Spanish. Heh. Not fair using a phrase I patented on me.
Besides, it's not my fault my friends don't speak Spanish. Right?
-David
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So I got an answer to my prayers about the girl I'd been worried about before. Unfortunately, it wasn't the answer I more or less wanted. This does mean that it's being taken care of ... I trust ... and that I can't really do anything to help. I hate that. And what worries me the most is not that I can't do anything to help, but that I might not be ready to do anything to help.
I just feel like I could really do something to help, and then I realize that first I'd have to be able to talk to her, and she hasn't really talked to me beyond, "Hey Dave, how're you doing?" "Blessed, absolutely blessed. How's everything going with you?" "Well, fine, I guess ..." and then she got whisked away by someone else and then I never got a chance to really talk to her the rest of the evening as first she was talking with one of the younger kids, and then there were more than 30 people over at Van and Cindy's and I wasn't able to even start a conversation with her as I was too busy working with the main group.
I was going to post this song on Friday after I got back from the group thing, but I wrote and posted that poem/song on faith instead. But I think that this covers it almost as well ... it's almost a description instead of an answer.
I watch you smile, you steal the show
You take a bow, the curtain falls in front of you
You're magical, on display
I gaze into your eyes and you turn to look the other way
But I'd really love to know, I'd really love to climb
My way into your heart, and see what I could find
I'd walk into your skin, swim through your veins
See it from your eyes, I'd really love to try
You're standing still, but in my mind, trying to escape
Looking for a place to hide
Well it's not safe but I'm so near
Invading every place you go to disappear
I'd really love to know, I'd really love to climb
My way into your heart, and see what I could find
I'd walk into your skin, swim through your veins
See it from your eyes, I'd really love to try
I'd really love to know, I really want to climb
Into your soul
Walk into your skin, swim through your veins
See it from your eyes
I'd really love to try
I'd really love to try
But I'd really love to know, I'd really love to climb
My way into your heart, and see what I could find
I'd walk into your skin, swim through your veins
See it from your eyes, I'd really love to try
But I'd really love to know, I'd really love to climb
My way into your heart, and see what I could find
I'd walk into your skin, swim through your veins
See it from your eyes, I'd really love to try
Yeah, I wanna get inside the you you're hiding from
Yeah, I wanna get inside the you you're hiding from
I wanna get inside the you that you are hiding from
Kiddo, if you're reading this ... I really would love to know, to climb into your soul, walk into your skin, swim through your veins ... I want to help you. But I'm trusting that you're working it out with others. If you're not ... even if you can't talk to me, please talk it through with someone else. You're not alone in what you're going through.
And I have no idea whether she'll read this, but ... I think I needed to say that. Even if she never hears it.
-David
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| Say |
| 3:14 PM, Saturday, February 07, 2004 |
Say what you really want to say
And the truest of forms will show
Finally you'll find your soul
They impose the endless fight to always be perfect
It seems they have been chosen to be above the rest
But the contradiction stands between these perfect lives
And the words that they misread ... there was no reading
Say all the things that you really want to say
The truest of forms will show
Finally you'll find your soul
Say all the things that you really want to say
The truest of forms will show
Finally you'll find your soul
The landscapes of being are endlessly competing back and forth
For an answer to existence that we can never find
In all the places that we've searched out
In all the pulses that we've taken ... there was no reading
Say all the things that you really want to say
Then you'll find the truest of forms will show
And finally you'll find your soul
Say all the things that you really want to say
Then you'll find the truest of forms will show
And finally we'll find our souls
Give us the answers and the ability to hear
The landscapes of being are endlessly competing back and forth
For an answer to existence that we can understand
Perhaps we're looking far too closely
We can't see all the evidence in its entirety
The air in our lungs, the complexity of our love
Say all the things that you really want to say
Then you'll find the truest of forms will show
And finally you'll find your soul
Say all the things that you really want to say
Say what you really want to say
And the truest of forms will show
Finally you'll find your soul
-David
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Went to Best Buy today ... got Ghosts today. Is brilliant. Buy it.
-David
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I wish I could find the words to tell you
That faith is more than action, more than thought, and more than games
It's a deep-abiding knowledge of the way our world works
To have faith is to understand the universe it frames
It's a certainty that permeates the fabric of our lives
It's a struggle with existence that just cannot be denied
And it radiates with wordless force, lies just behind your eyes
Faith is there when all else has just disappeared
Faith is there when it's all gone black
When the world has you down
And you've fallen to the ground
Faith is the power that draws you back
I know we haven't talked much for a while
It's a problem that I'm searching for a way to turn around
But I hope you know my thoughts and prayers are always on you
That each time I think of you, I hope that you have found
It's a certainty that permeates the fabric of our lives
It's a struggle with existence that just cannot be denied
And it radiates with wordless force, lies just behind your eyes
Faith is there when all else has just disappeared
Faith is there when it's all gone black
When the world has you down
And you've fallen to the ground
Faith is the power that draws you back
Far beyond this mortal land, a castle in the air
Lies waiting for the hopeful and the blind
For those who've loved and lost, heaven's more than just a prayer
It waits for those who are to find
That faith is there when all else has just disappeared
Faith is there when it's all gone black
When the world has you down
And you've fallen to the ground
Faith is the power that draws you back
It's a concept of reality that empowers your belief
Faith is understanding, knowing, that there always is relief
There will be an end to pain, to hunger, tears, and misery
Faith holds the answers and the way to set you free ....
And faith is there when all else has just disappeared
Faith is there when it's all gone black
When the world has you down
And you've fallen to the ground
Faith is the power that draws you back
-David
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Went to FYE. They don't carry SAL. Went to Borders. They don't have it and won't for another week.
Mildly annoyed.
-David
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I have been extremely busy over the past few days. It has reached the point where I'm feeling just a little bit insane. In a good way. Mostly.
In other news, I am once again worried about somebody, and about all I can do is pray as I'm not sure how to talk to her about it. It's sort of a helpless feeling and I really don't like it at all.
In yet other news, World of Warcraft beta signups have begun, and they are no longer discriminating against Hotmail and Yahoo addresses. Warcry is making this game look very attractive. That's somewhat along the lines of sitting down at the computer for 2-3 hours each night and eating Blizzardy goodness.
Heh ... I talk like I'm going to have time for that. Mike and Adam will kill me if I don't, though.
Phone's working again, happily. Cingular network annoying. Cingular and AT&T merge also annoying.
Urge to game rising. Urge to game WoW rising. Urge to make Tauren Druid rising greatly. Urge to morph out of ambient form and into berserking crazy mad-damage bear form rising.
Urge to skip ESE 372 (a.k.a. The Class That Would Not Die, Part II -- see ESE 271 for Part I) rising tremendously. I mean, all I did was play EV Nova and Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy through AMS 261 (boring class where all he does is homework review, time after time after time ...) and ESE 372 today.
Forgot to pick up Sleeping At Last's album, "Ghosts" when went to Best Buy with Mike today in that ridiculous 5-hour break. Feh. Sorry about waking you up, Em, btw ... I'm used to you getting up early when you have school. =P
SAL is currently touring with Switchfoot in MI and IL, which I consider a very unfair pairing. Mostly because it's not in NY or MA or anywhere I can get to. Jars is still doing their annoying Flash-y thing, which I absolutely detest. BUT! Will be in NYC on 16 March! Am planning to go, call me if anyone wants to join in on the action. Sister Hazel in NC, SC, and TN ... grrr. Counting Crows engaged in gouging lots and lots of money in a process known as "releasing a Best Of record", namely "Films About Ghosts". Didn't buy it. Will download the two new songs from iTunes instead. Are currently engaged in world tour so cannot scream at them in person about how they've sold out. Guster in MA in two weeks. Me in NY in two weeks. Bah. Will be in NY/CT about the time Jars is, but not on the same day, so this is good.
All quiet on the western front. Ciao.
-David
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