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On Divorce
11:25 PM, Monday, May 10, 2004

Divorce in the case of abuse is a tough question to crack. The major problem is this: it's quite a serious problem, but it's not adultery.

I'll be focusing on two key texts. First, 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, in which Paul talks about unbelievers leaving. And second, Matthew 19:3-9, where Jesus talks about divorce.

In the text from Matthew, we see the way in which God views divorce. To understand why, you have to understand how God views marriage. See, marriage is, quite literally, two people becoming one. This describes sexual relationships -- you have become one with that person. You are married, one flesh.

This is the major reason why divorce is committing adultery. God doesn't recognize divorce because you have already become one with someone. If you then become one with someone else, that is adultery, very simply. The reason divorce is legitimate in the case of adultery? The adulterous partner has become one with someone else, so is no longer one with their original partner.

Moving on from background information into the main point, divorce in the case of abuse. There are four situations which can be covered.
1. Both husband and wife are Christian.
2. Husband is Christian; wife is not.
3. Husband is not Christian; wife is.
4. Neither husband nor wife are Christian.

In the case of 1 and 2, the husband should not be abusing his family in the first place. One of the brothers needs to talk to him and "restore him gently" (Gal 6:1). If he persists, then it's covered under situation 3.

Situation 4, the Bible is irrelevant since neither will be following it, and this text then isn't for them.

Situation 3 is the crux of the matter, then. This also covers if the husband refuses to listen to the sound advice of the people who try to talk to him about his abuse, so this is really going to be getting into it.

In the Corinthian text, we see that "if he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him." We also see that "God has called us to live in peace", and in Hebrews 12:14 it says "make every effort to live in peace with all men."

If a husband is beating his wife, this definitely does not fall under "living in peace." The problem is, it's not adultery, so she should not divorce him. I definitely do not endorse her continuing to live with him -- she needs to leave that situation, both for physical welfare and spiritual welfare. As noted, God calls us to live in peace. If she can live with someone else from the church, or with a blood relative, let her do so. By no means should she continue in that situation.

But going back to divorce -- I can't agree with a divorce in that situation, unless the husband demands one. As stated above, the couple has become one flesh. Unless he first leaves, they are still one flesh, and since she is trying her best to honor God's commands, she is bound to him.

So, to sum it all up, she definitely needs to get out of the situation. But in God's eyes, they are still one flesh, still married, and divorce is not an option for her.

 -David
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